Your Complete Guide to Messaging Girls on Tinder (Proven Tips)

Nowadays, with the recent rise of social media and mobile phones, all human interactions have their respective counterparts through the Internet, even dating! Meet Tinder, an app promising to help you find the love of your life or even someone to have fun with. But, even when finding people to talk to has been made so easy, it seems that men still find it hard to flirt over Tinder. You see, getting a match is only the start, which is pretty easy considering you have an appealing profile. The real part starts when you have to actually talk to the girl. As you’ve noticed, just by saying a plain old “Hey, what’s up” is not going to make her go out with you. Most girls get tons of matches every day, so you have to stand out if you want to make an impression. “But how?” you may ask. This, my friend, is what I am about to tell you!

Starting the Conversation

Call it a stereotype, but since you are a man, you have to make the first move. It is very rare that a girl will actually message you first, so you have to make the first move. As I have already mentioned, just by being girls, they get plenty more matches than you do, so you have a very limited amount of time to impress her and not get filtered out like the rest. Be confident, be funny, be smart, but most importantly, be yourself.  Don’t go around making boring small talk, or saying some cheesy pickup line, because that’s an instant goodbye. Instead, try to actually seem like a person that she can have a decent conversation with, by gracefully steering the topic from a unique opener, to something that you know you will both enjoy discussing (assuming you’ve found something in her profile bio that you find interesting). And remember, since she swiped you, she likes what she sees on the outside, so make sure she understands that the inside is equally as attractive.

Messaging Girls On TinderBe a Gentleman

Don’t go making rude comments about her appearance or weird personal questions right off the bat. This is not only extremely creepy and impolite but will also, in result, make her block you faster than a stolen credit card. If you make a girl think that you only care about that, then you’re done for. Instead, try and ask her about herself as a person, instead of a lover. Try to compliment her, but not too much, for something else than her looks. Try to make the conversation seem a bit more personalized, try to include her name in your messages every now and then, after a few compliments and a few laughs; if even after you’ve gotten to know her you are still interested in her, then the next move is to ask her out!

Don’t Seem Needy

I know that you are eager to talk with that beautiful lady you just got matched with, but don’t go around messaging her seconds, or replying to her messages right after she sends them. I’m not telling you to become a snob, be available, but not too much if you get what I’m saying. Women don’t like men that appear needy and desperate, thus resulting in you getting filtered out almost immediately!

Tinder Message Woman

Use Proper Grammar and Send High-Quality Messages

There is no bigger turn off than a man that cannot type properly. Even if you’ve managed to attract the girl, she cannot have a normal conversation with you due to all the mistakes grabbing her attention away from you. Knowing the proper use of “your” and “you’re” is one common thing you will hear being commented on throughout the internet.  So, learn from the mistakes of the others to have failed before you, and don’t type like you’re drunk. And the best rule is to keep your messages short and thoughtful.

Don’t Show Off Too Much

Nobody likes a show-off. Trying too hard to impress her, will ultimately result in the exact opposite. Don’t go telling her about your height, or talking about your abs, or how much money you make, 5 minutes after you start talking. Instead of impressing her, you will most likely either scare her off, bore her to death, or just straight out make her stop talking to you. If you can’t find an interesting way to start a conversation(which varies depending on the person you are talking to), then you’re better off by starting out with a plain “Hey, how are you” and then picking it up from there. Nobody is on Tinder looking for the perfect human being, so don’t try to appear like one.

Be Genuine and Pay Attention to the Details

I know that lying to impress her is tempting, but sooner or later, especially if you get closer after a while, the truth will come to the surface. When that happens, not only you will lose her in an instant, but it will be painful getting shouted at as well. Instead, be yourself, I am certain that you are amazing, and you need to realize that whoever you find, must appreciate you for who you are. A relationship based on lies is destined to fail. Thus, before saying to your next match that you are a champion at judo when you can barely throw your pillow on the ground, think again, and maybe talk to her about the real you. Chances are that if after that she is still interested, then you are bound to have a very happy relationship.


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David Miller

Hi, I'm David Miller, a well-rounded journalist, writer, and designer who is passionate about life and the power of love. With a love for creativity and an urge to educate and entertain, I bring significant stories to life, give a unique insight through my writing, and infuse my designs with a touch of originality. My fascination with technology, cinema, TV series, and books keeps me at the forefront of contemporary events and popular culture. Additionally, I have been working as a couples and relationships counselor since 2012 and have a deep passion for helping people strengthen their relationships. I believe that life is meaningless without love and strive to spread this message through my work and personal life. In my free time, you can find me lost in a good book or engrossed in a movie, soaking up the latest creative inspiration. I am a proud resident of Greece, surrounded by my three amazing kids, and cherish every moment we get to explore and experience all the beauty this country has to offer.